it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
