For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
