Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
