So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
