garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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