First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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