i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
