I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
