Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
