Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
