there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
