Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
