easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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