My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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