Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
