you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
