I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
