On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
