Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Even my vagina gasped.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
