My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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