I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
