Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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