Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
