we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
