Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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