no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
