Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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