i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
