Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
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