I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
