oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
