Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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