its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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