they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
