Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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