He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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