mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
