im drinking this country out of the recession.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
