So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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