Got a toothbrush?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
they're like a gay fantastic four
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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