i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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