perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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