Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
