Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
