whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
