I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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