do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
