i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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