I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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