I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
